10 Comments
User's avatar
Isabel Chenot's avatar

Instantly seared to memory. (Though the sense itself is of losing what is graven there.)

Linda Campbell's avatar

Your commitment to your art is rare and very much appreciated…🙌😊

Sue Matthew's avatar

Food for thought in the change and the process. And then, someone like me who read the original poem and loved it, who read it several times..will say, no apology needed - it was a good poem, it had a sliding sense of the surprising.

Sally Newland's avatar

I like this very much. We appreciate that you are invested in your poetry. For the sake of the rest of us who have not spent a lifetime honing our craft!

Nancee Cline's avatar

I enjoyed the first version, but a good haiku is breathtaking

Antonia Baur's avatar

I liked the first one, but I admit this one hits and remains like… a ghost.

Angela Fischetti's avatar

It's quite the image. Thank you, Joseph!

Mitch Ritter's avatar

Clears the fence of self-referential to where I live now (across the country, roughly same latitude). Keep on doing

health & balance

Tio Mitchito

Stephen Johnson's avatar

Every poets M.O. :)

Kelly Trost's avatar

Really nice haiku Joseph.